Explain Kubernetes to me like I am Five.

— The Best Linux Blog In the Unixverse (@nixcraft) January 19, 2020

So one day my daughter and I were talking on a quiet Saturday morning. I mentioned that I had to do a little work from home today. My daughter asked me quizzically “Daddy, what do you do for a living?”I pulled her up onto my lap and said; “C’mon up here baby and let me tell you what I do…

“Don’t tell anyone” I whispered…
“but daddy is a wizard, like in Harry Potter! I use magic words to create spells that make all kind of cool things for people to play with on the internet!”

I continued “Last week, daddy used a magic spell create a dragon. I waved my magic wand and said ,

“Draconem nunc prodeunt!”

and POOF! a little dragon appeared!” My daughter squealed a little, laughed and said “Daddy! No you ditn’t.” I said “I really did!”

I went on. “Now look, this dragon wasn’t anything special. He was just a plain, basic old dragon that didn’t really do anything at all. He was just a lifeless piece of plastic that looked cool. In order for him to be able to do exciting things, I had to create a few more magic spells that gave him the ability to speak, sing, dance and even answer simple questions.”

My daughter’s eyes lit up as they transfixed on mine, looking for any signs of me teasing her or pulling her leg.
I continued “I waved my magic wand again and spoke the spell out loud;

“draconis, iubes tibi me loqui, cantare, et choros”

and the little dragon came to life and smiled at me and thanked me for bringing him to life!” My daughter looked at me in amazement and loudly said “No WAY dad!!!” “You did NOT just cweate a talkin’ dwagon!”

I simply smiled and said “Yup, I sure did. As a matter of fact, the little dragon was very excited to be able to do all of the awesome things that could make people very happy!” I said ” he even danced around a little bit and laughed heartily.” He tried out all of his new abilities and they worked great! I showed him off to a lot of people at work by creating a little webpage that showed a video of all of the fun things he could do.

Everyone that seen the video of the little dragon speaking, singing and dancing were amazed and they asked if they could have their own dragon to play with. The problem was, I had only created one dragon. This made me a little sad because I hadn’t thought of an easier way to create more dragons for more people to enjoy.

So, I put on my thinking cap to try and figure out a way to make all of the people happy and give each of them their own little dragon to play with.

Suddenly, I had a great idea! I said, “What if I created another spell that could make all the dragons I wanted. It would mix in both of the magic spells that created the dragon, and gave the little dragon the gift of speaking, singing, dancing and talking.. Then I could share them them with everyone who asked for one!” I looked at her and said “I am really excited to try this plan!”

I started writing down all the steps I took in creating the magic spell I used to make the first dragon. This would let me create as many dragons for people to play with as they wanted! So I created on big spell that created the dragon, gave him the ability to speak, sing, dance and even answer questions people asked him. I was very excited because I knew I was going to make a lot of people happy! I then tried out the new spell;

“Draco exibit. Precipio tibi quod et loquimur: cantabo, et choros!“

And then POOF! A new little dragon was made. The dragon was as happy as the first dragon and when they met, became very good friends. My daughter again squealed with delight! “Go on daddy, go on! So I continued with my story while she cuddled closer to me, her attention rapt on my face.

I continued “I also knew that I had to not only make sure the magic spell worked every time, but I also had to make sure it was safe. Also, that the copy of each dragon that people asked for, worked as well as the first one. So, I created another spell to do that by making both of the magic spells work together to create the dragon, make it fun, and work the same as the first one. I also changed the spell a little to make each dragon unique.”

My daughter asked “how do you say the spell daddy?”

I grabbed her toy wand and waved it maniacally while chanting in a rarely summoned, authoritative voice

“Draco exibit. Ego mandavi tibi ut loquaris: cantabo, et exultant lusibus. Et unus ex vobis mandamus prioribus Draconibus!”

She frowned and looked at me sadly “daddy, it din’t work”
I smiled. “we have to be at my work in a special place for the spell to work” I said.
She replied “Oh, ok. accepting my answer readily.

Next, I told her that I needed to make one more spell that made sure that when people asked for a dragon, the spell was available. It would also ensure the spell was free for everyone to use to create their own dragon along with all the fun things he could do. I continued, “this is the spell I put on the computer where the website lives” I said.
My daughter asked, “is dis spell diffrnt dan the last one?”
“A little bit baby.” I said. “Listen to this and tell me if it sounds ok.”

This time, I stood up and moved her off my lap and onto the rocking chair we were sitting in. “Watch this” I said. Her focus was laser sharp as I again waved her pink wand wildly in the air and declared mightily:

“Magico carmine quod omnes liberi et habilis. Draco exibit. Ego mandavi tibi ut loquaris: cantabo, et exultant lusibus. Et unus ex vobis mandamus prioribus Draconibus“

She eyed me curiously and said “it sounds fine daddy but I wish it worked here” as her eyes fell a little.
“I know sugar” as I picked he up again and sat her on my lap and continued with my story. We’ll talk about getting you you’re own little dragon soon. She smiled again and I went on.
“So now, I had the one big spell I needed to create a perfect dragon as well as a spell to keep it safe and working. Now, I used another magic spell to make all the spells I had created, work together every single time a little boy or girl visited the website and asked for a magic dragon!”

“I knew this website was going to be loved by every little boy and girl. So, I created one final spell to make sure that if the webpage didn’t work right, another webpage would magically pop up to take its place! I put that magic spell on all of the computers I work with that kept the website up and running.

Again she asked “Is this spell better dan the last one?”
“Oh yes” I replied. “This one is much better.”

Again I waved her wand wildly in a frenzy to continue to amuse her. She laughed at my silliness while I hollered loudly:

“Magico, certe facere pagina in Tela est utilis, quia omnes libera atque habilis. Draco exibit. Ego mandavi tibi ut loquaris: cantabo, et exultant lusibus. Et unus ex vobis mandamus prioribus Draconibus!”

She rolled off the rocking chair laughing uncontrollably at my absurd goofiness. As she finally regained her composure after a minute or two, she sat up on the floor in front of me, slowly looking up into my eyes.

I continued my story as she watched me closely.

“I looked over all of the magic spells I had created and was very happy. I knew that this would bring so much joy to everyone who wanted a magic dragon of their very own. There was one last thing that I wanted to make sure of.”
I continued, “I need to make sure that nothing bad happens to all of my magic spells.” I went on “I was a little worried that something would cause my spells to break or go wrong. To make sure this didn’t happen, I made one last magic spell to create a spare set of my spells that I could use in case a evil wizard tried to get rid of my spells.

My daughter, her eyes wide, asked “are there really evil wizards out there daddy???

I stated, “unfortunately, yes there are baby, Those bad wizards look for ways to hurt people, steal their money, and keep kids from having fun online.” “That’s why daddy has to protect his spells. I have to cast this last spell everyday to make a copy of all my magic spells and move them to a safe spot so no one could get to it except me.

My daughter’s face tightened into a sour frown. “I don’t like bad wizards. You and me should make a spell to keep them away from your dragon spell. “I agree baby. after I finish my story, you and me will start working on that together.

Her face visibly brightened and she smiled a huge grin. I lingered for a minute thinking of how I could take advantage of that opportunity with my little girl.

I proceeded with my story. “Here is the final spell I used to protect my other spells”. Again I stood up, waving her wand slowly at first while quoting the spell;

“Magico, certe facere pagina in Tela est utilis, quia omnes libera atque habilis. Draco exibit.

My voice continued to rise in tenor and tone while spinning around slowly to emphasize the how important this spell was. The sound of my words continued to grow, pausing at certain points to affirm she was still watching me.

Ego mandavi tibi ut loquaris: cantabo, et exultant lusibus. Et unus ex vobis mandamus prioribus Draconibus. erit vivens in continuum et non deficient. Eaque effingo ad tutum locum!”

I finished with a great gasp and fell to the floor, feigning exhaustion from the exertion the spell took from me.

I then told her slowly while catching my breath; “Now I’m satisfied with all my work. I know that this is going to make a lot of people happy.” She looked at me with smiling eyes only a dad knows, and as I looked back at my sweet daughter, I said, “Do you have any questions sugar?”
“she smiled brightly and said with a smile “Daddy!!! You’re a wizard!!!”‘
I grinned and said “Yes I am baby… yes, I, am.”

Hopefully this kinda outlined how k8s works when explaining it to your child. You too can be a wizard!

Enjoy!